Long time coming on this one. Lets talk about Minecraft, Notch's bastard child that was never good, was never a game, and breaks more and more every day. Let's talk.

Minecraft was originally developed as a fun little project by Notch. It, for some unfathomable reason, became immensely popular quite quickly. Why? Why did this happen?

Because in Minecraft, you can do ANYTHING! Anything, meaning, of course, you can build shit with horrendous looking pixel blocks. How exciting. There are also elements of other things, but they're so beyond insulting in how half assed and broken they are, they really should be taken out of the game.

But they can't be, because Minecraft is so completely devoid of content, they must stay. The "first person shooter" aspect, aka build a few stupid weapons and hack away in piss poor animation style at a small collection of things that have no A.I. whatsoever and just run at you even if they can't conceivably get to you, has to stay in the game, because without it, it's just a building program. A pretty shitty one, mind you.

So, instead, we have a building program with unspeakably bad "combat" in it, "combat" that is looked at as an annoyance and not a reason to play the game. That's really great.

Updates come infrequently. They rarely, if ever, address problems in the game, which are numerous. Notch rarely shows up to work, and thinks it's not only okay, but downright funny to post things on social networking sites like "too sick to work today", only to ask who wants to meet him downtown for some drinks several hours later. He's also freely admitted to forcing an update out the door so he could go home and play Portal 2 upon its release. How responsible. At least he's honest, I guess.

He was honest too when he recently decided the next big thing in Minecraft would be to include an addition that allows people to work with the software and improve it. Expand the game. Etc.

He expected people to pay money for this.

The Minecraft community, one of the most biased thumbs up brigades I have ever seen in my life, got pissed at this. So Notch said lol jk it's free. How gracious of you, allowing people to do your job for you for free.

I don't blame him for how he acts, mind you. I don't blame him for not giving a shit about this game. He doesn't need to, because the community rubber stamps this thing to a level that is outrageous. He'd actually be pretty stupid to try at this point.

It is "the best game ever". The music is "beautiful". The pigs are "so cute" (see above, ISN'T IT FUCKING ADORABLE). It doesn't matter. Frankly I gotta hand it to the guy, he's making a ridiculous amount of money off an unfinished piece of shit that isn't even a video game. If I was in the position he was that no matter what I did (or more commonly, didn't do) there were people saying PLEASE TAKE MY MONEY ALSO LET ME DO YOUR JOB PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I probably wouldn't be busting my ass to improve the product too much either.

Look. I can see how this could briefly be fun with a few friends online, but that's it. Stop calling it the best game ever. It isn't. The 12 year olds telling you Halo 3 is the best game ever look significantly less retarded than you, and don't get me wrong, Halo 3 sucks. Halo 3 sucks a lot.

I didn't really have an exit strategy for this rant, so instead I'll just leave you with this. I think it kinda says it all.

Any of the Notch Defense Force members that read this will probably tell me to get a life. As a preemptive rebuttal to that, please see above video.