Blatant sup. Haven't done one of these in a while.

Look. When you go to a convenience store, keep in mind the convenience part. You know that place around you that you usually don't go to because everything takes a fucking eternity but every now and then you're like WELL I ONLY NEED ONE THING, HOW BAD CAN IT BE? Yeah.

I needed aspirin, though it's pretty irrelevant what I went in there for since I'd need to buy a bottle of fucking aspirin anyway by the time I was leaving. These aren't gel capsules by the way, you lying flesh bags of shit. But I digress.

Two people in front of me. Person one who we'll call Captain Liver Spots takes about ten God damn minutes to buy a bottle of soda and two other things I couldn't see. "Do you have a CVS rewards card?" Hurr yes I do but I have no idea where it is so I'll take literally every card out of my wallet and dump it on the counter. Go fuck yourself.

Then Captain Liver Spots (I call him Livvles for short when we hang out) can't seem to grasp the concept that a ten dollar bill does not cover a $17.63 transaction. So, of course, after throwing the bill at her (not handing it to her, mind you), he stands there like a motherfucking idiot for about a minute before he realizes he needs a twenty. He proceeds to throw that at her.

As he is loading his 45 friggin cards back into his wallet made out of some animal that went extinct about 230 fucking years ago, he inquires "did you take my ten?" "No, it's right in front of you" the cashier explains, as it is directly in front of him in the middle of the cards he's putting away and he doesn't notice. "Oh" he answers, and proceeds to pick it up off the counter and throw it at her. "I don't need that, you gave me a twenty" she explains, handing it back. At that point, I gotta admit, I would have kept it for him being such a fucking asshole. Anyway, he's done.

OR IS HE? Livvles on his way out (this also took a few minutes) notices the newspapers and decides he wants one, so as the woman behind him is making her transactions, he walks over and throws it on the counter and, you guessed it, throws a dollar at her. The cashier elects to give the dollar to the woman so Livvles takes his paper and fucks off, hopefully to go die somewhere.

Then this woman it turns out is buying two bags. Two large bags with handles. The cashier asks, almost sarcastically, "do you want a bag?" "Yes" the woman answers, requesting large bags that are never fucking used and take a couple minutes to locate behind the counter. Because hoooo boy, this lady needs a bag with handles for her motherfucking bags with handles.

She also does the classic dumb broad with a purse move. If you're unaware of what that is, that is when you stand there with a dead fish look on your face until everything you are purchasing is scanned, and then reach for your checkbook to write a check. As if it never occurred to you that you were eventually going to have to pay for this shit until the cashier told you. Eat a bag of dicks.

So yeah, after about 15 minutes, I got my aspirin. My transaction took less than a minute, because I'm not a fucking retard.