So, Auburn has been crowned the latest champion. What better time to talk about what a complete joke this "sport" is?
No, I'm not going to get into DURR ONE FOOT IN BOUNDS FOR A CATCH IS STUPID, nobody cares about my spergy views on the actual rules of the game. Lets focus on what a brutally, blatantly, hilariously corrupt business college football is.
Ohio State competed in and won the Sugar Bowl this year. In the days leading up to the game, it was learned that five significant players accepted tattoos in exchange for autographs. Now, according to the NCAA, you can't do shit like that. You're college athletes, not pros, you aren't allowed to take gifts, money, and so on. So, those five players were suspended.
FOR THE BEGINNING OF NEXT YEAR.
Now, you say, but enraged guy on the internet, why would the NCAA do this? Why wouldn't they suspend them for the Sugar Bowl, wouldn't that be a more appropriate punishment? Why let them play in the Sugar Bowl and suspend them next year, when they might not even still be in college?
Money. The Sugar Bowl is a major televised event, and they were star players. Suspending them would hurt the quality of the game, which would make people be less inclined to watch it, which would cost the NCAA money through future sponsors being less interested, and so on.
In other words, the NCAA doesn't give a flying fuck about its own rules when its rules get in the way of the NCAA profiting.
Fucking Cam Newton. Now, can I hold a piece of paper in front of you, say "this proves 100% with no doubt whatsoever Cam Newton accepted money to play for Auburn"? No. I can't do that. I can not factually prove with evidence that Cam Newton did that.
But, lets use our fucking heads here. His father HAS been caught shopping Cam around, trying to get money for his sons dedication to a school. Yes, I'm sure Cam Newton had no fucking idea his father was making money off him, and I'm sure he benefited from it in no way what so fucking ever. In related news, I just brushed my teeth with a fucking leaf rake and am wondering why my mouth has been hurting for the past several minutes.
The NCAA investigated the case. For about 45 seconds. Then they said "whoops, shit, people like watching Cam Newton on television." Shockingly, they found nothing indicating he did anything wrong! If Cam Newton wasn't a star quarterback in a championship game, he would have been barred from NCAA competition in about ten seconds. If he was some douchebag that sits on the sideline and never plays, gone.
But he isn't. He's a star, so the NCAA looks the other way. Much like the case itself, I can't hand you a piece of paper that factually proves NCAA does this, but again, think about it. Doesn't seem too far fetched, does it?
The NCAA is a business, and that is all it is. They care about making money, not about having a legitimate sport. Look at this list of bowl games this year. Instead of a playoff to have a team earn a championship, we have the Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl. We have the Little Caesars Bowl. The NEW ERA PINSTRIPE BOWL. THE NEW ERA PINSTRIPE BOWL? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
As a closing note, go check out Division 2 and Division 3 college football. They have playoffs. They have legitimate championships, because they have top teams compete to get there. You know why they have playoffs and a legitimate sport?
Because nobody watches them and the NCAA can't capitalize on them wasting our collective time with the Hey Look, Another Advertiser Woohoo Bowl. Now, look. They wouldn't be doing this bullshit if it wasn't paying the bills, people watch and the NCAA is a wildly successful business.. The NCAA knows something I don't. Which is weird, I thought I knew half this planet is fucking retarded.
God damn it, the Beef 'O' Brady's St. Petersburg Bowl was on December 21st, I completely forgot. Anybody still got that on their TiVo?
Labels: ncaa sucks