For starters, I learned the hard way while searching for an image for this post that you shouldn't Google image search "Doctor Asshole" with safesearch turned off. I don't recommend it, its pretty fucking weird.

Also, don't search "Doctor Jerk" either, thats apparently the gay version of "Doctor Asshole". Fucking shit this is off to a bad start, lets just use generic Scrubs imagery.

There. I found a picture of a doctor on the internet that didn't involve a fist in an ass or a cock in a mouth, and it only took me five minutes. Can we fucking continue now?

Since I've been inactive for a bit, we're coming back with story time, as this is something from my past that pissed me off. It's a pretty short entry, so in a way I'm thankful for the internet being so fucked up and giving me a couple extra paragraphs of material.

I used to go to this doctor, y'see. When I was a little kid. Whenever he gave me shots, he used this strategy where he would distract me and act like we were just hanging out, then suddenly impale my arm with a violent swing of a needle. The idea was if it was over before I knew what was friggin coming, it wouldn't be so bad.

Thing is, doing this meant that needle went in hard, he hit my arm, and it hurt like a bastard. Kids are going to be bitchy whiny little brats when they get stabbed with something, so I can't really fault him for pissing me off back then. However.

I still went to this guy til I was almost 13. At that point, he was still doing this. Like, at that point I'm just going OW, BITCH THAT HURT, WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING NIGGA I KNOW WHAT I'M HERE FOR. I'm months away from being a teenager, I'm aware my father didn't take me to a doctors office because he thought it'd be a fun place to hang out.

And this motherfucker still thinks he's pulling a fast one on me.

I should go back there for an appointment sometime. I'm ready now. COUNTERSTRIKE, BITCH.

Labels: doctor visit, medical fail, needle, pain